Lessons to Be Learned

Today we received word that the adoption agency that we have been working with and trusting for help over the last 2 and a quarter years declared bankruptcy. This has sent us spinning as a family. Of course this news came while I am out of town in Winnipeg for the NAB Triennial Conference.

Throughout the day Joanne and I have been in constant communication about the situation. We are crushed, mad, confused, downright pissed off, and sad beyond imagination. It is 2 am in Winnipeg and I am unable to sleep after spending a number of hours researching and reading legal documents. I went to bed a few minutes ago but felt that I needed to do this to end my day, more as therapy than anything else.

Through this hard day I have still found much to be thankful for. I had the amazing team of the CEIF (Church Extension Investors Fund, NAB) board there to pray with me. They have been great support over this last year or so and they were there for me today. I am thankful that I do not question the fact that God is in charge of this whole thing even though I can't figure out why he would let this happen. I am thankful for the fact that God allowed me to have time with a number of my dearest friends (Mike and Candy Kellar, and Shelly and Randy Schmor) today as I was dealing with this news.

I know that we will, sometime in the future, see what God intended this for, no I take that back, I know that he intends this to bring Him glory. We just have to remind ourselves that we are the tool that he will use to bring the glory to Himself in this whole thing. We need to allow ourselves to be available, even in this frustrating time, for that task.

I was trying to go to sleep and I was listening to the song "Calmer of the Storm" by Downhere, and the words fit so well the day that we have had. I know that we are not the only ones who have disappointments, or who are hurting so I thought I would share these thoughts and the words to this song for anyone else that might benefit from them.

Peace

Dennis

Lyrics to Calmer Of The Storm :
When everything is wrong
The day has passed and nothing's done
And the whole world seems against me
When I'm rolling in my bed,
there's a storm in my head
I'm afraid of sinking in despair.

CHORUS
Teach me, Lord to have faith
In what you're bringing me will
Change my life and bring you glory and...

There on the storm I am learning to let go
Of the will that I so long to control
There may I be in your arms eternally
I thank you, Lord,
You are the calmer of the storm.

You rebuke the wind and the waves
Once again I find I'm amazed
At the power of your will
Cuz I'm a child of little faith
I feel the wind and forget your grace
And you say, "Peace, be still."

There on the storm I am learning to let go
The white wave's high,
It's crashing o'er the deck
And I don't know where I go
Where are you Lord, is my ship going down?
The mast is gone so throw the anchor
Should I jump and try to swim to land?

There on the storm,
Teach me God to understand
Of the Will that I just cannot control
There may I see all you love protecting me
I thank you Lord,
You are the calmer of the storm.